How to find the love of your life

1. Know what you want. Your looks change and fade, character does not. While a certain amount of "chemistry" is nice, don't rely solely on lust. Determine what qualities you are looking for in a mate.
2. Get clear about what you don't want. Knowing what you really can't tolerate in a partner is important. Make a list of your "don't wants" and then cut it down to the 10 most important. Any more than that and you'll be too picky.
3. Live your life. Once you know clearly what you want (and don't want) in a relationship, shift your focus to living your life. You'll find that you start noticing those who might fit, and passing by those who don't.
4. See the big picture. Don't try so hard that you miss the obvious. If you are great at focusing, step back now and then and look at the big picture. Work on having a playful, whimsical attitude towards life.
5. Get out of the house. Cultivate opportunities to expand your social circle and meet new people. Vary your routine. Entertain - throw parties - to enlarge your social circle.
6. Open your eyes and your attitude. Lucky people notice, create and maximize chance opportunities. Chat with other shoppers while you are waiting in line. Be ready with a "calling card" - a personal business-type card with basic contact information.
7. Get curious. Don't content yourself with the obvious. Ask questions. Wonder why. Find answers.
8. Try something new. The best way to have things stay the same is to never do anything different. Vary your daily routine, just to keep yourself awake. Shake yourself up and notice what happens. Keep yourself open to chance opportunities, and then take advantage of them.
9. Expect good luck. Monitor your self-talk for negative messages that interfere with luck. Replace the negative thoughts with positives. Surround yourself with examples of lucky people.
10. Learn from bad luck. Take steps to prevent more bad luck from what you have learned, then let the "bad" go. Don't dwell on or rehash the bad experience. Look for the positive elements.

- from Kathryn Lord, romance coach and author of "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women".